Review Of THE YEAR 2009 PART1

Year end again...
Yet I don't remember where did I start this year.

I think during the starting of the year, I gained a better relationship with lover and friends. It starts very well & so smooth. That was a very good sign, I need to keep this up next year round and round. Sincere and deep relationship made me felt so good. Although sometimes there were arguments, perhaps not feeling comfortable with each other, at least we made it through as lovers and friends. Cheers~
When it came to half of the year, things started to change.. When working life started, a lot of reasoning being given by myself to start to loosen the contact with friends, and now even my dear. Definitely I need to enhance myself on this, the relationship is not going to last once I loosen my hands. I need to really KEEP IN TOUCH with them, really.

This year round, I think I've been very far away from my family. Sometimes not even a call for more than a week. That's so not good. I know actually they missed me. There's no such reason as busy or being forgetful that you can forget to send a wish to your dear parents on their birthday. This was the most unforgivable thing that I've done this year; to not even send a message to my papa on his birthday. Felt terrible. This is quite recent and I remembered well on how guilty does it felt. Promised myself that I won't repeat the same mistake again.
The lesson that I learn: Do things immediately as you still remember them, you never know when would you possibly forget those things.

TO BE CONT'

Mind Maps

Perhaps my problem-solving skills will be enhanced..
The best place to start is never a new place, its always gonna be at where you are right now. So I'm gonna start all over again at this moment, right here where I am now.
Such a good feeling of being energized mentally, even though physically Im tired enough.

Miss my hubby... Im goin to move in the new house all by myself... But that's ok. Im strong enough to face everything by my own.

A Christmas Carol

Finished the movie just now with one of my best friend. Nice? I would say normal as it would be... Not the kinda movie that I would love to watch about. Moral values, yes~! Certainly there are. Just that, izzit too easy for him to change? Another movie with high expectation yet return with a lil' disappointment.

But, the most important part of the night is get to meet with my dear gal. I never knew that she led a miserable life before this, never knew she nearly missed the one she once said so much in love with. I think it must have been long since we met last time. Ya.. so long ago. Felt a little bit guilty when I found all those things out. I think she had tough times.. At least all that unhappiness passed. Sincerely hope that everything will be fine for you in the future. B country maybe is waiting for you ahead! Gal, I admire you for being strong. Pretending nothing happened, told me in calm tone. Like kidding with me. When you sounded like that, I know that perhaps the things is really deep into your heart. I miss those time we laughed together. Yiwei, how about you? Miss you superb today. Hope that you are doing well.. Happy and contented.

Just today only I noticed how time flies. It really never waits. Not even a second.
Just today only I noticed how long we didn't keep in touch already.
Start from today, each day I target to get back the connection a lil' by a lil'.

克服离愁

从机场回到家里，脑袋一直都没有太多的思绪。没想你到那里会如何，相信你可以把一切难题迎刃而解。没想今后我会怎么生活，相信一切自有安排。

到新家，油漆工人问我为什么不上更好的漆？想想就问了价钱。好心动。但回心一想又好像没有时间去安排。接下来家私就要搬进来了，该怎么移开一一上漆呢？烦恼……还是不了吧。下回吧，那间属于我们的新家，我一定要好好的用心，装置上最漂亮、最喜欢的细节。

我想心里隐隐还是有股离愁吧。回到家立即抽离自己，开始收拾。拾出了一箱东西，打印机也回归到最初的箱子里。床单也换了，脏衣服也洗了。囤积了一个星期的小国旗，清理了。
也替自己做了大扫除。磨砂，去污，面膜，统统都来一下。还想着晚上临睡前来个舒缓按摩。
忙着忙着，忽的停下，想起从前到现在，原来转换心情模式都是靠清洁整理再出发。

写着写着，蛮想哭的。我想今晚，也许可以放纵半小时，宣泄吧！

觉得最近的女尔不开心，与女尔少了很多的沟通。近来有在想，难道再深厚的感情基础，也是能够被时间磨灭的吗？还是，只不过蒙上了一层灰，模糊了感觉，产生错觉？
那也只不过是在闲时才想起的。忙起来的时候，还真的什么都忘了。所以，现实真是个可怕的东西。稍不留意，就陷入牛角、掉入漩涡，抽不了身。
加油，加油~最重要的是开心不是吗？

SUNSHINE NEEDED

AV is coming I think... emotionally so unstable recently. My gosh, miserable... Even though I know the reasons why am I being so moody, still I can't control my emotions. Lasted for few days, tried to find ways to make myself feel better, tried to ignore... Still, remained unstable...

Just little matters can make me on my nerves

Shin o Shin.. hope that you can pass through this asap... you always know that there's rainbow after the rain.. sun do shine after storms, just as how it breaks the dark sky everyday in the morning..

^^

To my DEAR friend

If you are able to watch it here.. this video is specially dedicated to you..

Changing??

I wonder if I have changed?
Just suddenly noticed in these few days... To better or worse?? No exact judgment...
Definitely the most noticeable changes in me is the sense of responsibility... Seriously increased.. Good things to know~
But, I think I have been so far from last 3 months as student. Still, I enjoy life~

Shin, gambate~~~

斗志spirit

I think it has been one week since I started to lemah semangat... finally managed to GAIN the SPIRIT back!!! Feel so good~~
Need no to deny that I am an extreme person... maybe its due to my AB mixed blood type.. ^^
Active and passive in the same body.. arguing at most of the time.. half needs rest, while half needs enjoy~ What the ****! As I always told myself, I need to enjoy what I've chosen, what I'm doing. Life doesn't always go smooth as we wish, while spending time hating what we are doing and feel sucks in the same time is not worth living... I prefer to love what I've chosen, enjoy the thrills, accept the challenge, and becoming better and better...

Why must I spend time making myself unhappy? The choice is in my hands, whether to go through each day, each hour, each minute and each second with smile or tears on my face.

Appreciate... I love ME~

问题不是用来想的，而是用来解决的。

经过昨天的感想……
加油~ ^^

刺激？！

Well...
When I went out to meetings with bosses, always things turn out to be very刺激
Haha, then they will ask me刺激le？！
Challenging life in the past few weeks... going to be like that in near future as well...
Love life, live life~~
CHEERS!

My love-most photo of the day

Workaholic?

^^ Shopaholic, I admit I am... Once in a while my hands feel itchy with the cash on hands... spent it and I will be happy... Even window shopping sometimes is enough to content me.. ^^

Workaholic? I wonder am I???! Maybe I just take things too seriously... Maybe I just wanna proof that he got the right person.. Maybe I just wanna proof myself that I can earn a living too.. I can excel if I really determined to be~

Today when I got the news, suddenly I have the feeling of hardwork-not-worth-it... But.. but...
Maybe I just have to proof myself harder.. Maybe.. maybe..

Life's full of possibilities...

Good luck~

RunAWAY

Sometimes, I felt like runaway from current life... But the next second, I would be convinced that I must train myself to endure and bear all the stress and pain to become a better person. I told myself: No easy job, no easy life. All the sorrows, sadness and down falls simply make us tougher and strengthen us. Need to always remind myself of that.

Extremely moody today. Luckily I still can escape for a while, taking a stroll outside... Good news is, the baby whitish pup is back with me again. Ehe, this time gonna grant it to someone who is willing to take care of him seriously.

Through the last few weeks, seriously felt that what most painful is realizing my own weakness and admit those weakness make me fail and yet still finding a way to get out of the pain and gets better. Still in the midst of wonder.... I tried and fall, takes more courage to stand up again and prepare for another fall... Did I learn? Hope so....

Grey.. BLUE... -Ve

So not in working mood today. After one month of working, this is the first time I'm so not in mood. Gonna meet with boss later, hope that the positive side of him can cheer me up a little bit. Maybe after a good night sleep I will be better. Hope so...

Getting used

Is it a good habit to slowly adapting myself to the environment and get used to it?
I think it is good... Not to say fully satisfied with the working environment now but I'm trying to like it more and more by days.
Open up my hands and face the challenges that came across me
I told myself lots of times: Only with practice I can make myself perfect
No short-cut for success
Colleague asked to go jogging together tomorrow after work... good start~

'Zen', My boss told me the story, in which I think it's so meaningful
When something happens, it just happens. The 'something' doesn't have any feelings or thoughts in it... it is me, or you or us who put feelings or thoughts in the 'something'. Can you get what I mean?

Motivated

Learning process in progress... I expected high for myself... ended up too tension and over pressured myself... I shouldn't make myself into troubles... +U~
Highly motivated by the 1 hr++ spent with YS the boss... There must be reasons why he can become one who own the company, I am digging on his secrets and hopefully to transfer those to myself... ^^


PERSISTENCE
keep on telling myself on this word... A good point to learn...
I hope I won't let him down by showing him the strength that he saw in me during the short 30-mins interview... I know that the ability is just inside of me, waiting for me to discover it and uncover it.. ^^

Mind is made up

I wanna continue in this way.. I wanna grow and learn fast... I'm sure the path that its leading me is surely the best that I can take...
Persistence is what I need to learn~ Patience is what I lack of~
Endure the pain and unhappiness... something great is coming ahead

Beh tahan

Really cannot stand his working style...
I know why he can stay here for so long, cause he is so capable of placing his responsibilities on others. What the f**k is all that I want to say when I was hearing to his bullshit...!!! I don't like this kind of people... I don't want to become as him either.
Shin, keep this feeling to yourself and keep silent. Learn, keep on absorbing as if you are a sponge. you shall make it.

Blogging IN office

I'm currently in office with my new desktop... ^^ quite a cmfy environment...
Many things happened in these few days, but we pretended as if nothing happened. We know that deep in our heart, all those things made us stronger and more determined about waht we're going to do...
Jiayou... Jiayou hubby... Jiayou Shin!!!

2nd Day Working

Today is my 2nd day working... although they are all busy with current projects and not able to teach me anything, but glancing through the contracts and documents do help. One of my colleague, MAY, she is so nice and always there to help me adapting to the new environment. Thanks to her~
Guess what?! After I finish my lunch today, my boss suddenly called me: Soo arr, do you know how to play bowling? Later you follow Ika go Putrajaya play bowling with TNB staffs ya~
Me: Serious?! Sure sure~ I will call Ika and see you there~ ^^
Wakaka~ 3 games for free with food and drinks provided. Halo there, go do government job if you can! Somemore with cabutan bertuah~ and I got lucky seven! Yes, gained a plastic ocntainer for my company.

After 2 days working, I predict that I will be very busy in work in these near future. I also predict that I will make my life even fuller by learning all those unknown skills. My health is my biggest issue for me now. I wanna lead a healthy life! So, I plan to learn swimming and after that will be yoga.
The thought of improving myself constantly always comes into my mind. Expecially these two days when I'm so free to think around (during work ^^). If I am to continue on the road of managing people, I am going to make myself stronger in this sense. I think of taking a MBA when I'm stable at work.
I found myself to be pretty much an optimistic people. I look up upon myself and never deny myself. This makes me feel good all the way. Although there were times when I made wrong decisions and caused myself to be miserable, but still -- the only thing wrong is the decision, and I am not born to be wrong. My friends doubted: why should you think too much on the bright side when even you are still yet to discover? Why should you expect so high on the future? I always expect for the worse to come.
Me: Reality is cruel enough. I don't need more cruelty in my dream. Yes I know the unknown has all kinds of possibilities, but I prefer to think positively as this makes me happy. We live life and I wanna lead a happy life ^^
:)
Changes are faster than plans... but still planning ahead makes me happy~

A new start~

~H@ppY NEW start~

Tomorrow gonna be new start for me
Add OIL++++++
People who give up are those who lose their passion faster than they gain passion. And, I don't want to be one of those people.
PERSISTENCE
PASSIONATE
HUMBLE

Ups and Downs as usual

Thought I'm going to start work tomorrow morning... but things ain't going smooth. I think, perhaps, I'm gonna find a job AGAIN~
^^ Anyway, its okay for me. Its somewhat not my 'most desirable job'. I still can wait.
Tonight is the end of JUNE. I officially rested for a month ++
Gonna make it an interesting 'end-of-month' and hoping the months coming will be better and better~
Perhaps I will go out sg and take a serious vacation there. Serious practice for photoshooting as well. Who knows one day perhaps I can become a PHOTO CREATOR??? And my photo can make money??!!! ahahahah

Sharing this: A star~

Not bad for a newbie

^^ congratz to myself since I got job offer after I went to the first interview. First and only.
It was a really nice feeling that my ability being recognized by the 'boss', felt honored. Perhaps it is due to the same activities background that we all possessed, it makes our conversations smoother and we are able to be in the same frequency. That is the most important thing, if even in a interview session I don't feel comfortable, how on earth can I expect my working environment to be comfortable? Lucky...

Things I've gone through as newbie these few days were not just interview and job offer.. ^^
I've also spent my day all alone at KLCC last Friday. It was a great day granted by not-yet-working. Hehe. Although I didn't manage to get the skybridge ticket... people started to queue for the ticket since 630am, I reached there at 930am, sure out-of-ticket! When I smiled to the foreigners passed by, I felt so good and so freshy. Started to take photos around KLCC. A bit worried about my safety in KLCC park since not much people around. But then I found out there were policemen there. Huhu~ can play around safely.
Kinokuniya is certainly a nice place to spend time. ^^ Searched through and read books about travelling in London and also photography. Gained gained gained~~ GAINed BIG!! haha

Think of watching 'Hannah Montana: The movie' at first. But the movie on show at 4pm, so late. LRT and KTM would be so jam after I watched the movie. So~ had to say bye bye to the movie.

^^ Photoshooting at Dataran Merdeka last night. Nice nice~ Tested about all the theories I've learnt online and through books. Star-light effect, capture movement of water, blurring effect... bla bla bla.. A lot to play with the camera~ *love love*
Skills are basic for photographer, once a photographer has all skills needed, he can create meaningful photos -- that is the time we call the photographer as PHOTO CREATOR

Prejudice

Another little matter reminds me of this: prejudice.

We never know what exactly a thing is unless we give it a try. But, we have our own predictions. We have assumptions. We are being prejudice. We presume the taste of an unknown food, we assume the feeling that we would have in certain situation where in fact we have never experience it. Even if we are given chance to experience the unknown, thousands and millions of excuses arise, trying to stop us from experiencing. Being able to conquer the prejudice is a great honor.

The reason for me being so deeply in this 'prejudice' issue is due to the movie:  
TRANSFORMER II: Revenge of the FALLEN. 
 I missed the part one, and I still clearly remembered how I responded to the part one.

"Oh gosh, the movie is guy's dream. They must love it coz it company them to grow."
"I couldn't understand why the movie can create such a transformer heat!"
"I don't think I will like the movie."
Thousands and millions of excuses given. Just to make sure that I don't like the movie. Aha~

Yesterday is the first day the movie on show. I watched it. It's a great movie. Great motions, great pictures...

A movie that is the result of heart and soul of the production team. The computer graphic involved is not an easy task. Never thought I would like it.. ^^
So~ No more excuse! You never know unless you give it a try~

heart and soul

Believing that putting your heart and soul into something is worth it... Yes, I believe, certainly.
Been editing the blog for a few days, messed up once in a while.. ^^ however, now that I had included my favorite photo into header, I'm so satisfied.
Thinking of adding some widgets into it.. but I don't know which to put.

From the interview session I know that people can sense whether we have put our heart and soul into whatever we do. Yes, I may have done badly, but that is my best. And, people do sense it! It is a great experience to gain. Give your best shot each and every time, you never know what is awaiting for you! The journey of life is great.. adventurous and educational..

I think of a song randomly. A song which I hated to hear it several years before. All because it always reminds me of how weak I am. But now, it brings a different meaning to me. Admitting the weakness in me helps me greatly, improving can be painful at first, but it is the most satisfying process of all.

Sharing the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XvpfIDnA9c

Argument

Is that necessary in our lives? Why do we argue? Even over small matters?
Funny to be in this situation: it's been a day and night since you talked to me. Yes, I did do something wrong, that was to hang up your call. I know you hate that most. I don't feel like apologize.
I actually felt that there is a big gap between us. As if we are falling apart. Are we?
Do we need this argument?

Pray Hard

When you have done whatever you can or when you have already pushed yourself beyond the limits, all that left is just pray.. pray real hard.
This time, no doubt I have already done the best of me. All that left for me is only to pray hard.
I hope I get a chance to present myself. Truly deeply in my heart, I pray for that.

TODAY

I've found out something interesting
Sometimes, we maybe too focus on a thing... we tend to forget what we actually wanted
I often wondered in these few days, what kind of job would I like to find? I was just like flies which just heading to no where. Still, if you ask me now: what kind of job would you like to have?
Probably I would still tell you the same: I don't really know and I'm not sure either. But I will try out everything. Everything that is available for me and everything that is ready to accept me.
When I'm given a chance for interview session, I'm gonna prepare myself to the fullest. No more regret k?
You never know until you are in it. I'm ready to discover.

*This is the story: I had been searching for job on internet and I always focused on s'pore vacancy. Yes, I did find interesting jobs but I was turned down. Almost every application. Still I haven't gave in, continuing to search. Until today, I suddenly remembered that I promised myself: either s'pore or kl. Oh ya, why do I forget about kl? So tonight I search online about job in kl. Aha, you got it! I found a lot of interesting job in which I'm so interested in them. All of a sudden, I feel foolish for being so stubborn and choosy. ^^ What's so not good in kl that I denied it even before trying? I think I should give it a try. Ya, I should. Dreams remained, I would not just let go . Maybe it takes longer time to be there, but how should we know before we give it a chance? There's no right or wrong, just making choice.

Shin, so I will see you in London in a few years time~ ^^

Another BLOG -- Mom at 16

This is another blog of mine and I'm gonna keep it personal.
This is the place where I will write my diaries, where I keep track of what I'm doing, recording my thoughts. Writing down thoughts in my mind makes me think, it was so long ago that I've done this.

Great start for a great day~
Early in the morning, my puppy wake me up. Thanks to him or not I will miss the movie: Mom at sixteen. It is a nice movie with all the conflicts and ups and downs. Admired the personality of Jacey, the 16-year-old mom. She was in love with a guy named Brad. Well, the guy is not worth to be mentioned because he sucks~ After that she got pregnant, and her mom forbidden her to tell Brad coz she thinks that the guy with an engineering scholarship would not let go what he had now just to marry with Jacey and raise the baby. But, they didn't do abortion to get rid of the baby. Instead, they keep the baby. It was then the story starts.
The movie's ending was not a perfect ending, but life's not perfect either, right?

Good day~